I'm thinking Buddy Holly

would have been a rap star, had he lived
in 1999 -

bigger than Tupac Shakur,
more interesting than Eminem,

and, of course, a movie star,
retro glasses, honker nose

a cross-dressing superstar
performing in the hottest mtv video

this year, kissing Madonna, coming out
as a transgendered male.


*

Musicians have more addictions
than most, more than novelists,

comics or poets, though as for the last
their addiction to death

doesn't count, because suicide
is a one time performance piece,

perhaps
the greatest performance art.


*

When I was small I tested the world -
tried to kill myself, unintentionally

ate flavored St. Joseph's aspirin
because they tasted good

in my 2 year mouth, just candy
in a bottle with a screw off top.

Thus was my destiny set by foolishness,
ignorance, and God's echoing laugh.


*

Buddy set his in song, which was the best
and only way

a singer should do it - proclaim
that'll be the day

when I die in a rock anthem
still heard, still played, still sung.

Did he miss his chance? Not if
life is only a means to an end.


by T Birch

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